Runner-up's Revenge

“I’m telling you it’s not my problem, Dowon. If you’ve made someone come all the way out here like this, you should at least pay back the money out of courtesy.”

Dowon had called Dahye, hoping to make his plea in person. However, all it did was allow him to hear her angry voice more vividly and up close; it did nothing to persuade her.

“If I consider every single one of your circumstances, when will I ever get my money back? There are no exceptions to the laws, Dowon. Didn’t you learn that in school?”

Dahye’s voice came crashing down on top of Dowon’s head, like falling rocks.

“You have a lot of time, don’t you?” she went on. “Can’t you just work more? Make more money instead of hanging out with Hana. It’s a bad look.”

It felt like heavy stones were piling up one by one on Dowon’s body.

“Oh, you could also try stocks or Bitcoin. I heard Jihyung made quite a bit with that. You majored in economics at Seoyeon University, Dowon.”

Dahye, emphasizing the word “economics” with exaggerated force, now unable to hold back her laughter. She pressed down on top of Dowon’s head, poking it repeatedly with amusement.

“Dowon, if you call someone to come meet you, you should at least make eye contact. Can you not pay back the money? Didn’t you say you’d definitely pay it back? Didn’t you say you’d sell your organs if you couldn’t pay? It’s a bit unsettling, but since I need it back fast, what choice do I have?”

Dowon finally collapsed and fell to his knees. Whether it was because of the stones Dahye had dropped or because Dahye was the only lifeline he could grasp now, he couldn’t tell. Even if it meant becoming servile, he had to do this.

“Please help me, Dahye.”

Dowon knelt down and bowed his head. He thought he heard Dahye’s disgusted voice from above, but couldn’t make out any words.

“I really can’t do it,” he said to the ground. “I’m having a hard time right now… If you give me a little time, I’ll find a way. Please…”

Dahye’s voice came from a bit farther away.

“Dowon, why are you making me the bad guy? Why do you have to make me feel so uncomfortable when I’m just trying to get back what I lent?”

Dahye’s voice sounded incredulous, so Dowon raised his head.

She scoffed. “You’ve gone crazy.”

Dowon simply flattened himself on the ground right, at Dahye’s feet. The floor was so close to his face that, if he lowered himself just a bit more, he could almost kiss it.

“I’m begging you, Dahye. What else can I do?”

“Why are you down there? Want to lick my shoes?”

Dowon looked up at Dahye. Maybe because he was looking up from so low, he couldn’t see her face well.

“Do you want me to?”

“You crazy bastard.”

Dowon felt he would do anything she told him to. He really had no leeway now.

“I’ll bark if you tell me to, I’ll roll over if you tell me to. I’ll do whatever you say, Dahye.”

“Then pay back the money.”

Dowon grabbed Dahye’s shoe as if it were a life preserver. Dahye frowned and pulled her foot back.

“Just three million is making you act like this?”

Just three million. Dowon couldn’t raise his head.

“Never letting go of first place in school, entering Seoyeon University’s Economics Department right after high school… Dowon Lee, the person I thought was doing better than anyone, is trying to lick someone else’s shoes over three million won. Be thankful it’s only me watching, Dowon.”

Dowon felt like if he didn’t hold them back, tears would fall to the floor. In the midst of it, he wondered if these tears might help persuade Dahye, even just a little.

That thought drove Dowon into a shameful abyss just as much as Dahye’s voice.

“What are you going to do?” she demanded. “I’ll have to rethink my hotel reservation because of you.”

“…Hotel?” Dowon’s voice sounded lowly, even to him. He lifted his head to gaze up at Dahye.

“I’ve already booked the plane ticket, I just need to book the accommodation. But because you’re not giving me the three million, I can’t stay at a 5-star hotel. What are you going to do about it? I have a deadline too, Dowon.”

Dowon’s living expenses, the three million won that made him ready to prostrate himself on the floor and lick someone else’s shoes, was just the cost of booking a slightly better hotel to Dahye.

Her face was hard to see because of the light. Dowon had just finished work at the factory and had to beg for his livelihood flat on the floor. Dahye, on the other hand, was dressed in neat clothes, and was looking down at Dowon as if he were filth.

It was hard to believe that, not only had Dowon chosen to prostrate himself on the floor and beg Dahye for time, but he also knew that falling and crashing to the bottom was his own doing, too.

Why was misfortune so sharp and solid, capable of piercing a person, while happiness was so weak and fragile, like cotton candy?

“Dowon, are you listening?”

Now even Dahye’s voice seemed to be fading. It must be because she was in a higher place in every sense of the term.

Dowon felt like he had crashed to the very bottom and would never be able to stand up again.

***

Dowon lingered for a long time near Hana’s apartment. Leaning against the wall of the long hallway, he looked down at the long row of doors, not even minding the sensor light turning on and off.

He’d bought a pack of cigarettes, although he had never smoked before, and casually placed one between his lips. He inhaled and exhaled. But whether it was because he didn’t smoke it properly or because the weight of everything couldn’t be solved with just one cigarette, his anxious stomach didn’t feel any relief.

Behind him was Hana’s door, and from where he was standing now, there was no way forward. No matter which way he moved, he would fall.

Dowon sat down, there in the hallway, with his back pressed to the wall, and looked at Hana’s door. He was angry.

He thought he understood why Dahye was acting that way. If he were in her shoes, and someone who had borrowed money from him who couldn’t even follow through on the agreement, and was deceiving him in return, he’d probably be angry too.

If only Hana hadn’t…

He couldn’t stop blaming Hana, even as he tried to fight against it. If Hana hadn’t left the kitchen, if she had left him alone while he was on the phone, or at the very least, if after all that had happened, she had simply walked away when Dowon rejected her, things might have been different.

Dowon finally gave in and entered Hana’s apartment. Despite being immersed in these thoughts, Dowon was forced to walk in because he had nowhere else to go.

“Dowon, you’re here?”

Hana’s house was filled with the sound of boiling water for the first time in a while. Hana had been standing quietly in the kitchen, but now came running to the entrance with a smile.

“This time I really grilled the fish well. They said to coat it with flour and grill it, so I did that and it didn’t burn and turned really golden brown.”

Hana seemed very cheerful, until she carefully examined Dowon’s face.

“Was work hard today? Want to wash up? The clothes you left here last time should still be there.”

Dowon wanted to be angry at Hana. He wanted to demand to know why she’d acted the way she did, and tell her that his already-barren life was about to be shattered because of her.

But he didn’t have the energy for that. He didn’t have the willpower to open his mouth to berate Hana. Not when she was so excited by his mere presence. When he said nothing, Hana led Dowon to the bathroom and pushed him in.

“Hurry and shower, Dowon. I think the food will be perfect once you’re out.”

There was a little flour on the hand Hana used to push. Dowon entered the bathroom and let the water hit the top of his head. He didn’t even have the energy to stand, so he just sat down in the bathtub and let the water cascade over him. After somehow lathering up, rinsing off, and drying himself, he came out to find Hana waiting in front of the door.

“I was just waiting for you.”

How long had she been sitting there?S he raised her head to look up at him from her position on the floor and giggled. Dowon found it hard to bear that smile.

“The fish is grilled really well. The stew, well, you already know I’m good at that, right Dowon? It turned out so delicious. Don’t be too shocked.”

Dowon struggled to lift the spoon. It was hard to properly look at Hana’s face as she sat across from him. Were her spoons always this heavy?

Laid out before him was a literal feast. There seemed to be five or six side dishes, and it looked like Hana had made them all herself. The stew, the fish, and all the side dishes were foods that Dowon liked.

He should have been happy, but instead, he wanted to shout at her, telling her to go out and get a job, or to get money from her wealthy parents. Dowon forced himself to swallow those words, shoving a spoonful of food into his mouth to keep them down.

“Is it delicious?”

The food was delicious. He could practically taste the care and effort she’d put in. She must have made it thinking of Dowon. Because that was all Hana could do in this house.

Hana was lovely, kind, and gentle. She was someone who would welcome Dowon with a smiling face, even when he came in without a word, desperate and powerless. She cooked for Dowon, and waited outside the bathroom door for him.

She was like a dog, blindly padding after its owner. Dowon felt a shadow of guilt, and at the same time, an ironic sense of despair.

“Hana.”

“Yes? What? Do you want some water?”

He couldn’t find the words. He wanted to bolt out of Hana’s house without looking back. He knew, logically, that running away from Hana as she tried to shred his life into pieces was the right thing to do.

Until now, he thought it was paranoia. Or he thought her actions were something Hana had no control over, because she was sick and struggling.

However, Hana’s recent behavior had far more intention behind it. It no longer seemed like Dowon’s paranoia. Hana had taken her medicine, and despite the medicine’s effects, she was still acting so impulsively. Almost as if she would do anything to keep Dowon from talking to Dahye.

Hana often talked about love to Dowon and spoke as if their hearts were connected. If this had happened when life was going well, he would have been happy.

But not now. Now, Hana’s actions, and Hana’s existence were ruining Dowon completely. Dowon had to detach himself from her.

“…It’s delicious,” he finally muttered.

“Right?”

However, Dowon couldn’t just run out of the house, nor could he get angry at Hana.

If I leave here, where would I go?

Dowon, in his lazy and complacent mind, wanted to rest in Hana’s arms. He wanted to eat the meal Hana prepared and quietly listen to what Hana said. Even though he knew he should leave in order to save his future, he just wanted to act as if everything was normal.

Because without Hana, Dowon really was nothing.

No, that wasn’t technically true. Even without Hana, there were things left for Dowon.

A debt of three million won, Dahye, who made him lie facedown on the floor, his mother who spent all her energy pining for his father, even while lying in a hospital bed, and then there was his father, who only thought about extorting money from Dowon.

There was also an academic background that didn’t live up to its name and his increasing age…

“It’s so good, really. You’ve improved a lot.” Dowon smiled at Hana. Life was really fucking shitty.

***

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Dahye threw the vase that was on the living room table. The empty glass shattered and the pieces went flying in every direction.

Panting, she looked around the living room, at the torn sofa cushions, broken vase pieces, overturned side dish containers, and tables.

Dahye had never been this livid in her life. She was so furious that she thought it would have been better to travel back in time, to high school, so that Dowon could mock her again.

“I really fucking want to kill them.”

She had to keep ranting and raving. The sound of Dowon and Hana kissing kept ringing in Dahye’s ears. Celebrities were laughing on the TV screen she had deliberately left on.

Suddenly annoyed by it, she threw the remote at the TV. A sharp, static buzz filled the apartment as the TV drew its final breath and shattered.

“I want to kill them!” Dahye yelled and collapsed on the sofa. As she slid closer to the floor, she remembered Dowon bowing before her.

It felt as if a piece of the shattered vase had lodged itself in her chest, making her heart prickle painfully with each beat.

Dowon kept flickering through her mind. Dowon, who was busy working as many hours as he could, struggling to make a living. Dowon, who cried in the hospital and confided in her over the phone. Poor Dowon, who had nowhere to go and no one to lean on.

Dahye frowned, something in her chest tightening. Feeling like she might go crazy if she stayed in the house, she went outside.

“Should I have a drink…?”

She thought about buying a couple of beers and going back home. As she walked, she had managed to calm down a bit when she halted in her tracks.

A sound of disbelief escaped her throat.

What she saw in the distance was Dowon and Hana. The two were sitting at the convenience store table where Dahye was heading, excitedly sharing a bag of snacks.

“I was too nice.”

Dahye clenched her fist. She looked at Hana giggling and pointing at the snacks, and the side of Dowon’s face as he gazed at her.

Dahye felt miserable, angry, and desperate, as if she had been left alone in the world.

“They have time to hang out together but no time to pay back my money?”

Dahye gritted her teeth. She would definitely make those crazy bastards come to their senses.